There's a novel written by a Japanese author in the 1960's, titled Silence*. It's a story about a Portuguese priest named Rodrigues, who was sent to Japan to be a missionary in the 1600's. Because Christianity was outlawed in those days, Rodriques was captured, tortured, and condemned to death. But he learned that he could win his release if he would just renounce his faith and stepped on an icon of Jesus. The priest refuses, and although he is about to die, he takes pride in the fact that he has been a faithful priest. But late one night while he is alone in his cell, he is horrified to learn that dozens of Japanese peasants who were captured with him are being tortured, even though they had already recanted their faith. He was told that their torture would continue until Rodrigues stepped on the icon. The priest is haunted by the sounds of their torture, and as he stares at the face in the icon he hears Jesus say, "Trample! Trample! I more than anyone know of the pain in your foot. Trample! It was to be trampled on by men that I was born into this world. It was to share men's pain that I carried my cross."
What does it mean to take up our cross and follow Jesus Christ? How do we save our lives by losing them?
Our Gospel lesson for today takes place just after Peter's brilliant witness, "you are the Messiah!". Peter thought he understood what that meant. After all, he was on the ground floor of a new movement. He had left his family, his home, and his career to follow a man who he believed was the Messiah - a mighty king who would lead Israel out from under the domination of the Romans. So when Jesus begins to tell his disciples what it really means to be the Messiah - that he would suffer, be rejected, die and rise again - Peter objects.
Jesus' response is swift: "GET...BEHIND...ME........SATAN!"
Now it's clear that Jesus is perturbed with Peter, but what did his rebuke really mean? Perhaps Jesus believed that it was his God-given mission to suffer, be rejected, die and rise again. Maybe he thought Peter was getting in the way, tempting Jesus in just the same way that Satan tempted him during his forty days in the wilderness. Maybe get behind me means "get out of my way, Peter" or "stop trying to get between me and my God."
But I think that maybe Jesus was saying something else. I think that Jesus was aggravated that Peter still didn't really understand his role as a disciple. Get behind me could also mean that Peter needed to put Christ first, instead of looking out for his own sense what Christ had come for. In other words, perhaps Jesus was telling Peter - and all of us - that we need to set aside our personal agendas and let God be God.
Each of us has our own idea of what it means to be a follower of Christ. For some of us, following Jesus means worshipping the God who created the entire universe - a God of power and majesty, a mighty king. For others of us, following Jesus means following the teachings of a gentle carpenter, who taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves, and to turn the other cheek when we are offended. We all follow a Messiah of our own making, to some extent, just as Peter did. We are all guilty of projecting onto Jesus our hopes and expectations, our idea of "WWJD", of What Would Jesus Do.
But Jesus warns us he didn't come to us to fulfill our personal expectations; discipleship isn't about doing what gives us honor. He said:
For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life?"
Now I have to admit, I have always struggled with this passage. The fact is, I don't know if I can give up my life for my Lord. I don't know if I can be a martyr for the sake of the gospel. Does that condemn me? Does that mean that I can't be a true follower of Christ?
Well, the word that the the bible translates as "life" in this passage can also mean that which makes us alive, or that which animates our bodies. The word is psyke, and it occupies us before we are born, and departs our bodies when we die. In other words, "life" can also be translated as "spirit" or "soul". Using today's language, it might be what we call the Self, or our Identity. So in a very real sense, Christ's call to deny ourselves and pick up our cross is a call to set our egos aside - a call to a life of humility and service. It is a call for us to lose ourselves; to set aside our own self interest for Christ's sake. And through our humility and service we become witnesses - we become martyrs - for the sake of the Gospel.
You know, when you really get down to it, we really can't do what Jesus would do, because what Jesus did was suffer, be rejected, die and rise again. There's no way we can do that. There's only room for one Jesus on the cross, and he doesn't look for us to take his place. But the good news of this gospel is that we don't have to, because he's already done that for us.What Would Jesus Do is only for Jesus to do, and it's up to us to accept the grace and the gift he has given us. Through our baptisms, and through our communion at the altar, we are all tied to his crucifixion and the promise of his resurrection.
Peter's vision of a warrior-messiah was shattered by Jesus' mandate to pick up his cross. Rodrigues' pride for being a faithful priest was shattered by Jesus' command to step on the icon, so the lives of his fellow Christians could be saved. As we struggle to live out our mission to be Jesus in the world, we will have our own preconceptions of Christ shattered from time to time, as well as our preconceptions of what it means to be followers of Christ.
Thanks be to God!
*Silence, by Shusaku Endo, 1966.
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